Okay, so here's a way to get it. Now listen to me and remember this and use it. It works. It's not a matter of true or false so don't argue with me. It's a way of thinking about things that gets rid of the *!&% and brings the grace.
Look, obviously the answer is on the inside, not on the outside, everybody with a brain and an iota of real wisdom and no intention to screw you over or take your money will say, and forever has said. It's on the inside. Turn inside.
What the heck is that supposed to mean? We're organisms with internal nervous systems representing the external world with our internal systems: EVERYTHING is on the bleeping inside already.
You know when you pull up to a traffic light and you're feeling impatient and you see the light in the other direction is green and you see the crosswalk light is showing WALK and not even blinking red and you know you have to wait for it to start blinking red and then count to six and then let the other direction turn yellow and then count to three and then let it turn red and finally you can go. You know when you pull up to the light and realize all this waiting is in front of you and it's as though you are itching with the discomfort of the wastedness of each annoyingly extended second, you know what that feels like, let's call it discomfort. It's based on wanting something outside you that is beyond your control to be different from what it is. Frustrated outward desire. This is the nature of the kind of suffering I can help you with.
You know when you're just going along through life and feeling a little lonely and you see a pretty girl with a smile on her face (or a handsome guy, whatever your persuasion), and you think to yourself, How come I'm not with a hottie that is happy to be around me? And you feel your solitude weighs on you more heavily, the moments are lonely and uncomfortable. That's this kind of discomfort too. Frustrated outward desire, for something outside you to be different from what it is.
Most suffering is like this, it seems to me. If you're suffering, think about it, I bet you are wanting something outside you or beyond your control to be different from what it is. This is the kind of suffering I can help you with. Actually you have to help yourself, but I can point the way. Just like everyone has always pointed the way: turn within. Stop wanting what's on the outside. The blinking light is on the outside. The ticking away of time as you're trying to get somewhere else is on the outside. The imaginable hottie is on the outside. Stop wanting what's on the outside to be any different from exactly how it is. Simple. True (in the sense that it would solve your problem). But certainly it is not attractive or inspirational as a thought, not to me. I want the darned light to change, not to change my inner experience. Telling me to change my desires doesn't help me very much. It's not very kind, in fact it's just brutal, you're telling me Forget what You want, just stop wanting it. Real useful.
Oh beloved, listen to me, allow me to speak to you now with the great tenderness that is in my heart for you. There is a path, a sequence of thoughts, that leads from suffering to release from suffering and to grace. Here it is.
You know how people argue and complain about the inward-turning imperative. Always arguing and complaining. Suffering internally and not wanting to do anything about it. Just share the misery so we can all stew in it together. J*sus, could you get over it. Wake up and smell the coffee. You're b*tching because you're suffering; you're suffering because you're wanting something on the outside to be different, and you can't have it because it's on the outside and you can't control it, so wanting something out there is hurting you, but only because you want it, and if instead you want what's on the inside that gives actual satisfaction then you'll lose all this whiny-ness so get off your butt and stop complaining and do it. Want what's on the inside, turn inside, be inside, stay inside. That's what I've got to say.
You know there are all kinds of people that argue about the inward-turning imperative. They're usually into goodness and virtue and being nice to folks and all this cr*p that basically idolizes excessive subservience to other people's wants and needs. And they say That is So Selfish. You Can't Be So Selfish Like That. It's Not For Me. These unfortunates are actually
And plus let me just please make my point here which is that a world where noone experiences their own self and everyone lives purposely on the outside and through others is a world of unhappy, sour-pussed ignoramuses determined not only to wedge themselves into a dark place but to drag everyone else in there with them and lock them in, faces to the back, so they can't even see the light in the opening behind them. Whereas a world where everyone experiences their own self through their senses and their mind and their intellect and their will and their inner, pervasive, conscious, joyful, eternal self, is a world of happy, fulfilled, compassionate, conscientious, wise, thoughtful, loving people. What would You prefer, Mister UnSelfIsh? How UnSelfish of you to prefer that.
The "goodness" of unselfishness is not really goodness. Pissing on someone else because they are so selfish and self-centered and inward oriented -- and isn't that terrible and bad and anti-social and un-Christian and whatever -- is just showing them how you piss on yourself, ignore your self, prevent yourself from experiencing the satisfaction of your own self. Everyone has an inner existence and self-awareness, and that self is precious beyond words, and everyone should and ought to cherish their own self above all things. Because who will cherish your self for you if you will not? Two selfless people staring at each other are just going to become strung out and unhappy, when they realize they are wanting something outside of themselves that they cannot control and isn't the way they want it to be. That is the nature of suffering, and there is your recipe, go ahead and cook it, what can I say? But a caretaker that is exhausted cannot take care of anyone. And everyone's job is to love themselves first, and then the overflow from the goodness on the inside will let them take care of others also.
So I wish you my own personal blessing, that you can transcend your discomfort, go beyond your suffering, and I offer five simple steps to get there, first to leave your desire for things on the outside through experiencing the here and now in your actual senses, and second to transcend your senses by experiencing your mind, third to transcend your mind by experiencing your intellect, fourth to transcend your intellect by experiencing your will, fifth to turn your will inside and experience your goal, the simple, reliable, inner self awareness that contains the happiness that is what we really all desire after all. Or not -- suffering is part of life too, you can do that all you want; I'm just proposing an alternative.
Now go and do it.